My Back and Forth Mojo

I've taken a little break because I've been trynig to get myself together. I had no idea that my motivation would flip flop so much. I think I was on the edge of mental burnout, because I am still giving 150% to each workout and meal, but then it was like my motivation was completely drained after the cool down. It's great to be committed to my goal, but I can't let the rest of my life fall apart in the process.

I love sharing my lifestyle and my goals with my students and encouraging them to chase after their own. I am rearranging my eating schedule to where I'll be eating plated dinners at work around 5:30 or 6 on Tuesday and Thursday nights. I brought this in on Tuesday, and I almost had to fight some of them off it. I also loved that they thought there was steak on the kabob (I think some of them mistook both the tempeh and mushrooms for meat, ha!)



I've been so proud of myself for my eating, because I have not put a single thing in my body that wasn't natural or whole since I paid my registration fee. I am definitely getting to that point where my body is craving the good stuff and I'm not tempted by anything. Feels good!

I'm also adding to some of my previous records - I'm now up to 27.5 lb dumbbells in each hand for overhead presses and five wide grip unassisted pullups! One of my students saw me in the gym while I was doing them, and he said, "Wow, I have never seen a woman do pullups like that with so much control!" I also got the compliment of my life that morning: an older woman was being trained, and she walked over to me to say, "You look great! I told my trainer I want to look like you." That alone was awesome, but then she leaned in and said, "You know that tall trainer here? Who would ever want to look like that? Too skinny!"

To whom was she referring? My nemesis, of course! Score!

The other thing that is really weighing me down lately is that I feel like when you stand for something, you often stand alone. There is a pattern of men bailing on me before they even give anything a chance because they have that incredibly stupid closed-minded viewpoint that they can't live without meat (or even worse, are Paleo, ugh.) I'm just tired of people saying I'm so wonderful and blah, blah, blah, yet not wanting to accept everything about me. I was down about it last night, but I took myself back into the gym and hit 45 hard minutes on the elliptical (I had already done an hour of plyo in the morning.)

The one other thing I don't quite know how to handle is when I tell someone "I'm competing as a vegan" and they give me the blankest, "uh-huh" look. Come on, people, it's 2013!!!

My student trainer has been such a lifesaver in this process. He told me I should quit beating myself up over being perfect and just give the best I have. That's all he wants, and THAT, I know I can give. I came in frustrated and with a mental block on Tuesday, but he took me to the point of being completely physically done by the time we ended. I'm not sure I can remember the last time I've felt that way!

I guess all I can really do is keep doing what I'm doing. I'm going to bring in some beefless beef tips today and totally blow my students' minds!